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 Memo from boss

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sHaFiZa
Temenggung
Temenggung


Female
Posts : 709
Age : 37
Location : Putrajaya
Status : Its complicated
Joined : 2008-03-31

PostSubject: Memo from boss   Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:53 am

To: ALL EMPLOYEES

Effective July 2008 =

DRESS CODE

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your
salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we
assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay
raise.

If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you
do not need a pay raise.
If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.


SICK DAYS

We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.


HOLIDAY DAYS

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.


COMPASSIONATE LEAVE

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for
dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to
have non-employees attend to the arrangements.

In rare
cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be
scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.


TOILET USE

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicles.

At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper
roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture will be
taken.
After your second offense, your picture will be
posted on the company notice board under the "Chronic Offenders"
category.
Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

LUNCH BREAK

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.

Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a glass of Slim-Fast.




Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an
employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment
experience.
Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns,
complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input
should be directed elsewhere.

_________________
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bayu_pagi
Temenggung
Temenggung


Female
Posts : 2295
Age : 38
Location : EARTH~
Status : MaRRieD
Joined : 2008-05-05

PostSubject: Re: Memo from boss   Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:23 am

ini company manyak kudukut laaaa....
dan sgt la kejamnyerrrr......

Evil or Very Mad

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^LiFe MusT Go oN^
::kawan-kawan takmo lawan::
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mehatespink
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Posts : 2860
Age : 33
Location : sumwhere in malaysia
Joined : 2008-04-03

PostSubject: Re: Memo from boss   Wed Jul 23, 2008 1:50 pm

tamo la keje situ.. xbeh..

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wiser
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Age : 42
Location : Pahang
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Joined : 2008-06-25

PostSubject: Re: Memo from boss   Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:03 pm

Boss mcm ni patut kena karate kat tulang belakang dia biar koma 14 taun.
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PostSubject: Re: Memo from boss   Today at 4:23 am

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